I spend a lot of time reading other people's blogs, but I'm nervous about putting down the things that I think, the things that I feel.

It's fairly dangerous for me really. Once I start writing, something takes over and I write stuff that I didn't even know I was thinking often. And I know that that's good.

But what if the stuff you're thinking, the stuff you're writing is going to affect someone else? What if you're thoughts will hurt someone? What if.....

So I talked myself out of it.

This last couple of months I have been so touched by the close knit community that bloggers are. The support given to my girl as she publicly works her way through Post Natal Depression So many things that have been said and done for her that I appreciated as a mother living far away from her... The support given to Lori as she lived and lives through a nightmare that no-one should have to endure...

2010 was a hard year for me - the worst of my life. And I chose to live it inside - making sure noone knew how bad it was, how hurt I was. I may have had a better year if I'd looked for support and understanding, who knows - it's too late now. But 2011 is going to be a better year for me. And I want to share that with others - but old habits die hard, so I will probably more sparodic in my writing that Beck would want. Sorry!!!

I've been reading about the Pay It Forward on beckyandjames.com, and have decided that my first attempt to be a part of this blogging community will be to join in. So...

"I promise something handmade to the first 5 peopls who leave a comment here.

However, to be eligible, you must repost this message, offering something handmade to 5 other people. The rules are that it must be handmade by you, and it must be sent to your 5 giftees sometime in 2011. Ready, set, GO!"

And so begins my attempt to become a blogger!!!